One could say expectations have been a loyal companion throughout my life. Where ever I could find something pleasant (!) to expect I did and I became really good at creating fantastic illusions around these expectations, be it in relationships, career, you-name-it... Of course, I was on a super-high when everything worked out, happy, strong, faithful, etc.
But guess what happened when it didn't - crazy-town was the next destination. My ego/inner-mean girl would be supported in her strong belief 'You are not good enough' or 'If you would have done it this way, you would be happy now!'
But what if you could be on that super-happy party of feelings all the effin' time!!! Note: if you CHOOSE to do so! Release your expectations - and here is why:
I personally had a hard time understanding why having expectations is bad; and then I found the answer by experiencing being expected to be or work a certain way myself.
The truth is that the person, we put expectations on energetically feels that they do not act the way we want them to. But who are to tell the other person how to BE!?
Usually when we do that we come from a place of lack ourselves - we are unhappy with a certain situation or we want more than we currently have. The important thing we have to realize is that we are making the other person feel that they are not good enough, if they cannot meet our expectations.
Have you ever heard: 'You deserve better!' - Yes, you had some high expectations there!!!
Essentially we should be grateful for the presents the person gives us in the present (I love this beautiful word game^^). Of course, we appreciate the great feeling that we have of meeting someone or finding a new job or co-worker, but we crave for more, it's like sugar. We crave more and more and more and develop this story/illusion in our head, until we realize we have put our health (relationship, job, -self) at risk, because our ego's expectations might not correspond with the other person's plan or personality. And then we feel hurt, angry, not loved or resentful against the other person for not making us happy, while we know that HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB :-) read on...
Another thought why having expectations will not lead to the super-happy feelings is, there are things in this world that we have no power of controlling them. It is simply impossible to have full control about WHAT happens in our life - and here comes the biiig BUT, we can choose HOW we see and think about the things happening to us and what we will focus on.
Rather than focusing on the future (projecting new expectations), focus on the NOW!!!
I have to tell you this is a great challenge for me too because I have to say good-bye to my year long companion and invite the faithful dreamer in, who is able to handle situations and people from a place of gratitude and power over negative emotions.
The very good news is, life has become very light - my new companion is a really freeing and uplifting fellow :-)
I hope you all have a reflective pre-Christmas time, without having expectations - BE happy and grateful & watch miracles occur!
Lots of love,